Unusual Diet is Key to Kindness

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A research team at the University of Michigan has concluded that a diet rich in beer, popcorn and ice cream strongly correlates to person’s increased generosity and kindness. One researcher claims - “People surrounded by love who also follow this diet are really great human beings.” The researchers have further discovered that this unusual diet combined with a loving marriage and fabulous children also supports a person’s strength of character and sense of humor.

Further research is underway trying to determine the additional benefit of eating cashews, spending time in remote settings, playing cards, fishing, and reading. Studies have suggested that these additional activities relate to maintaining lifelong friends and increased amiability. One researcher is heard questioning the probability of just one individual manifesting all of those attributes no matter what diet is followed or how much one participates in the listed activities - “Can you imagine how wonderful this person would be? How great it would be to have this person in your life?... Let’s be real…this is science, not science fiction!”

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.