Actor David Harbour Says He Is NOT A Satanist
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Los Angeles, CA - Vigorously denying he is anything but a humanist and christian during a live press conference today while standing in front of the Museum of Contemporary Arts which is currently hosting the traveling Black Magic and Demonism exhibit, actor David Harbour proudly and rebelliously stood his ground. When asked if he believed in god, Harbour arched his eyebrows and spat out that "of course I do" while briefly exposing his bifurcated tongue and spewing flecks of saliva that burned any exposed skin in his vicinity. When one disrespectful reporter offered Harbour a small flask filled with holy water and asked him to drink it, the classy thespian laughed off the ridiculous request, shortly before the unprofessional reporter unexpectedly fell to her knees and started vomiting new born snakes. Next Mr. Harbour was asked how he felt about taking over the role of Hellboy for the third movie in the supernatural series, he gave the cryptic reply, "What matter where, if I be still the same, And what I should be, all but less than he Whom thunder hath made greater?"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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