Bay City man's thumbs replaced with cyborg implants

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9/14/2017
(Bay City, MI)
When local fishing enthusiast Walter Peglow went fishing for pike in the Saginaw Bay, he may have bitten off more than he could chew... or, perhaps the pike did. Peglow hooked into a huge pike, measuring in at a whopping 38 1/2 pounds and measuring forty four inches in length, surely a record for these waters. Peglow, upon securing the fish in his boat, reached in to retrieve his bait, in what turned out to be a tragic move on his part. The great fish clamped down with his huge, meaty, powerful jaws and snapped off both thumbs, leaving Peglow with nothing but tiny stumps where his thumbs once were.
Peglow, longtime friends with mad scientist Robert Graczyk, was assured by the scientician that there was, indeed, hope. Graczyk was able to replace the left thumb with a tv remote, and restore the digit to full functionality. The right thumb has the works of an old smartphone in it, it does not, unfortunately have a ringer, but it can vibrate.
Peglow's recovery has given hope to dozens maimed in pike-related accidents and misadventures.

- J. T. Fick
[email protected]

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.