"Joel can eat my ass," says Bayliss

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Jam band fans nation wide were sad to hear this morning that prog-gods, Umphreys McGee, will be canceling the rest of their tour. It is rumored that this may be due to an internal conflict between lead vocalist and guitarist, Brendan Bayliss, and keyboard player, Joel Cummins.

Reporters reached out to both members of the band for a comment.

Bayliss was quoted saying, "Don"t even ask. The argument is already stained...". He refused to elaborate.
BN247 reporters attempted to retrieve a statement from Cummins, who was unable to respond in any way due to his very, very old age.

One band member, Andy Farag (percussion), agreed to elaborate.
"The two have really never really gotten along," he said. "Joel constantly nags Brendan about his obvious alcoholism and Brendan often belittles Joel on stage in retaliation. It's just gotten to be too much... for all of us."

The feud history between Bayliss and Cummins was confirmed by several members of the stage crew and close friends. Bayliss has reportedly been known to refer to Joel as "an old fucking fuck" and even told others that "[Cummins] can eat [Bayliss's] ass".

Though sudden and unexpected, fans of the up-and-coming band, Twiddle, are ecstatic that their undertalented and overrated heroes will now get a bit more time in the lime light.

We would like to salute Umphreys for all they have done for wooks and spunions everywhere. So long and thanks for all the rawk.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.