Bromley shoppers pee'd off

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Customers of the Burnt ash Lane branch of Waitrose have recently been complaining of a very strong smell of urine around the front of the shop, many whom say the stench is so strong it actually stings their eyes, local resident Victor Umbugigono stated "de smell it is so bad I now have to take a different route to de job centre".
Bromley council have refused to comment on the situation, however a spokesman for Waitrose , store manager, James Ponsonby-Smythe has said " the store is not responsible for the odour", but suspects it may be due to one of the local residents recently purchasing a Skoda Roomster... he went on to say "every time he leaves the house he has to drive past the store, which causes every person in the vicinity to piss themselves laughing." We traced the owner of the vehicle to nearby Milk Street, when approached for an interview he declined claiming "it was embarrassing enough driving the poxy thing, without having his face splashed across the papers" , he was later seen leaving the house sporting a big red nose and large shoes, our reporter then had to leave the scene to go and change his trousers.
Local police chief, John Davidson has said they are unable to get involved due to the fact the car has a current MOT, is taxed and fully insured, it is also likely that it will never exceed the speed limit due to the fact that model in incapable of doing so

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.