The Shocking Truth About Paul McCartney Finally Revealed!

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Fifty years after some people say Paul McCartney died, the shocking truth about his role in the breakup of The Beatles and his on-again, off-again role in music is now known. Mr. McCartney was the most adamant of The Beatles about getting off the road and spending more time in the studio. However, that ran counter to his "easy-going" image that he wanted to maintain. The problem, according to the other surviving Beatle, Ringo Starr, is that Paul's consumption of "jazz cigarettes" led to a lackadaisical approach to writing and performing. Things deteriorated to the point that a look-alike had to be hired for the occasional public appearance and videos by the band. The look-alike was trained to sound like McCartney, but he did not have to learn to play bass with his left hand due to his being ambidextrous. Mr. Starr added that it was nearly impossible to distinguish Paul from his doppleganger, Billy Shears. That soon changed when the latter took advantage of Paul's desultory interest in music. Mr. Starr continued by stating it was obvious which was which by the songs each wrote. "Paul would write something terrific like 'Penny Lane,' and Billy (known derisively as "Faul" in some corners) would write a tune such as "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La, Da" or "Maxwell's Silver Hammer." John would refer to these songs as "granny music." Paul's lack of interest in the band and the overbearing manner of Billy led to the disintegration of the band. Ironically, fans believe Paul was pushing to keep the band together, but it was actually Billy. By the time Paul regained interest in keeping The Beatles together, it was too late. As his solo career began, Paul was hands-on but would soon lose interest and have Billy fill out the remainder of an album. Ringo stated that it is easy to determine who recorded which albums and singles. If I want to hear Paul's music, I listen to "Ram" and "Band On The Run." Albums such as "Wild Life" and "Pipes Of Peace" have just a couple Paul cuts each. Ringo attempted to talk Billy out of the egregious "Give My Regards To Broad Street," to no avail. "The only thing that savaged the album, according to Ringo, was the lead track and single "No More Lonely Nights." When pressed on which Paul did the touring, Ringo stated there is only one Paul and left it at that. When asked what might have been if The Beatles had stayed together, Ringo said that he blames the jazz cigarettes for the eventual break-up of the most famous and influential band in the rock era. "As big as our impact was on music, I feel we could have done even greater things. It's just a shame that Paul's interest in all things jazz affected the band and the music," Ringo added.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.